It's My Sandwich Now
by Rose's.wings
Summary: Did you know that the sandwich was named after Lord John Montagu, the fourth Earl of Sandwich? Weird right? Well that has really nothing to do with this story, except for the fact that its about a sandwich...Dave's to be specific.


This movie is so absolutely awesome that I had to write _something _about it. I love it. And I am almost positive that this is what happened to Dave's sandwich. Written just for fun so I hope it makes you laugh. And yes, there really was a person called the Lord of Sandwich. Hee hee hee. n_n

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It's My Sandwich Now

_"One, two, three, four-"_

"Dude!"

Balthazar looked up from where he had been mentally tallying up his pyramid of sandwiches to see the look of absolute shock on his student's face. It took the sorcerer a moment to comprehend what had Dave's mouth hanging open. "Oh I beg your pardon. I haven't eaten in ten years." He said realizing that despite the decade he had just spent trapped in an urn the times hadn't changed enough that it wasn't still considered odd to eat a pile of sandwiches at ten o'clock at night.

"Yeah, yeah fair enough." Dave said still sounding shocked as he picked up his own sandwich and nervously pulled at the paper wrapping.

Balthazar almost forgot to take his off. He nearly bit into white butcher paper instead of the Rueben he had ordered. He ripped the paper off before he started eating paper instead of real food. Oh sure being trapped in an urn as ash and tenth century Chinese paint for ten years meant you really didn't feel the need to eat but when you were finally let out and turned back into flesh and blood food went to the top of your priorities list.

Balthazar quickly swallowed his first bite before thinking to ask about their current street side surroundings. They were sitting outside in the slightly misty night of New York City after ordering a late dinner from the deli behind them. They had passed several other perfectly good sandwich shops on the way here but Dave had been very picky. Balthazar had been too hungry to ask earlier but now that he was sitting with a pile of hot sandwiches next to him his curiosity started to get the better of him.

"Might I ask what's so special about this bench?" Balthazar asked going for another bite. He looked up just in time to see Dave's mouth drop open in a goofy sort of recognition. Balthazar looked over his shoulder in time to see a young woman with blonde hair come out of the building next to the deli.

Balthazar inwardly sighed. "No, no, no." He groaned. He had hoped, foolishly it seemed, that his new apprentice – with his awkwardness, lack of social ability, and goofy ears – wouldn't be open to this particular kind of danger. Unfortunately it seemed he was wrong. From the look on Dave's incredibly open face he was in completely over his head. He wasn't drowning, but still in over his head.

Dave managed to drag enough of his attention away from the pretty girl to ask, "What?"

"There's no time for that and too much at stake." Balthazar said decisively. He couldn't have a half trained apprentice running around the most dangerous - and possibly freakish – city in the world chasing after a girl. It was asking, no begging for more trouble than he could take on.

But of course Dave didn't see it that way. "That girl-" He stopped grasping at words. "She's the one man. And you're my mentor Balthazar. Aren't you supposed to help me…achieve my personal goals?"

Balthazar had had it. "Ah! Yes, yes!" He said shaking his pickle at his student so hard that it made slightly squishy, squeaky sounds. "Except I'm not your mentor I'm your master. And your master says that if Horvath catches you out in the street you'll die." He snapped. That **could not** happen. He had spent too long searching for this boy – awkward and easily distracted though he may be – to have him killed in some back alley way by the man looking to resurrect one of the most powerful sorcerers looking to destroy the world. "Is she worth that?" Balthazar demanded pointing with his pickle at the girl behind them. "Think about it Dave."

They were both silent for a long moment as Dave processed his master's words.

But Balthazar saw the look in Dave's eyes and knew he was doomed. _"He wouldn't."_ He thought with flat hope.

Dave was up off the bench and halfway to the girl before Balthazar could stop him.

_"Should have seen that coming."_ Balthazar couldn't help but think as he watched the younger man in stark, but no longer surprised, disbelief.

"Don't eat my sandwich!" Dave turned to shout back about half way to the girl.

Balthazar raised an eyebrow at him. _"Was that really necessary?"_ He wondered to himself as he continued to watch Dave cross the street and approach the girl with the blonde hair.

_"This out to be interesting."_ He thought wryly not bothering to turn away.

"Becky!" Dave called out when he was a few steps behind the girl. "What ah, what a coincidence."

Balthazar snorted. _"Coincidence my right ear."_ He thought.

"Oh hey Dave." Becky greeted Dave. Balthazar wasn't surprised exactly to hear the affection in her voice when she saw it was Dave, but he still thought this could have waited until the rest of humanity was out of danger.

Dave went on talking, grasping at words that might make sense to other life forms Balthazar thought. He certainly was trying hard to think of _something_ to say. "Are ya going uptown or-?"

Balthazar sighed and shook his head. _"That was the best he could think of? Might as well mention the weather while you're at it Dave."_

Thankfully Becky seemed to ignore the apprentice's nervous babbling. "Are you stalking me?" She asked. But even from his bench side seat Balthazar could hear the smile in her voice.

"Not in a threatening way." Dave told her.

Balthazar snorted again at his pupil's attempts at sidewalk humor. "Why was he even concerned?" He wondered out loud as Dave and Becky continued their small talk as they made their way towards the subway station. With another shake of his head Balthazar took a bite of his pickle and turned back around in his seat to finish off the rest of his first sandwich.

He noticed that Dave's was still sitting on the bench next to him.

He eyed the other sandwich for a moment. Then with raised eyebrows Balthazar turned to make sure he was quite alone. Dave and Becky were almost to the station entrance now. Patiently Balthazar waited. A few more feet and they were turning around the side of the glass and metal covering of the subway stairs. Another handful of steps and they were descending the stairs to the underground train. By the eighth step down the stair case only the couples' heads and shoulders remained visible.

Balthazar waited until Dave's dark head was out of sight before turning his attention back to the abandoned sandwich lying on the bench not a foot away from him. The white paper was still wrapped tightly around the beef and bread. Dave hadn't even touched the thing.

Balthazar took one more look around before reaching over and taking Dave's sandwich, ignoring his other three still sitting on the bench by his knee.

_"Well it's mine now. It'd be a shame to let it go to waste." _Balthazar thought as he unwrapped it.

It was gone in seconds, and not be magic.


End file.
